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is overdue, Hall believes, with thousands of partners across the UK struggling with something that evokes all the most destructive ingredients of personal pain – betrayal, infidelity, deceit and shame.“Sex addiction feels extremely personal when you’re the partner because it affects the most intimate part of your relationship in a way that, say, alcohol or drugs just don’t,” she explains.Rosendale starts each 12-week support group by educating the women about sex addiction.“One of the points of this group is to depersonalise it.Traditionally, most partners of sex addicts have been treated as co-dependents, says Hall.“The presumption is that the partner knew at some level what was going on and was ‘enabling’ it, which is frankly an insult.Couples who make it work generally take a three-pronged approach, says Hall.
No wonder many partners suffer trauma, which can lead to depression, anxiety and panic attacks, rage or utter dissociation.“It could involve sex with a partner, but it may also mean activities such as viewing pornography, masturbation, visiting prostitutes or using sex chat lines,” it explains, claiming that while for most people such habits don’t cause problems, sex addicts are unable to control these urges and actions.Causes can of course be more complex, while for some – a fast-growing number, according to Hall – it’s simply opportunity-induced.“The reality of the Western world today means you can find anything you desire easily and anonymously.Indeed, you can find a whole load of stuff you don’t desire, but get hooked nonetheless,” she says.
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Eight years into her marriage, Rachel started to wonder if her husband had lost interest in sex.